


Forgive in the Fade

by chaosfay



Series: Ghanima and Solas [14]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Forgiveness, Grief/Mourning, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-02 23:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4078318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosfay/pseuds/chaosfay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas returns to Skyhold and watches what he missed in the Fade.  He wasn't expecting so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive in the Fade

**Author's Note:**

> Read http://archiveofourown.org/works/3111041 for reference. It'll help out a lot.
> 
> The other fics referenced may aid in reading this.  
> Making love in the ruins http://archiveofourown.org/works/3221246/chapters/7012067  
> When she speaks to Iron Bull http://archiveofourown.org/works/3150152

Solas saw her.  For the first time in over a century he was able to see her in more than a passing glance.  Over the years he had visited those places they had been.  The ruins in the Hinterlands where they had made love in the rain, the various areas Ghanima had been when she fought and brought down dragons, and the places they had made camp during their travels seeking out a way to bring down Corypheaus.  

Now he was in Skyhold, a place of greater focus.  

Ghanima was everywhere.

He pushed beyond the time he had been there for her.  With her.  Beside her.  Solas sought her out after the time he left.

There she stood on the ramparts.  It was nightfall, and celebrations could be heard in the Great Hall.  He hadn’t pushed hard enough, or the spirits here wanted him to see what he left behind.  Leliana approached her now, and all Ghanima’s careful composure fell apart.  He stood beside her, knelt as she fell to her knees, Leliana holding her close as she screamed.  

He had abandoned her.

Tears came to his eyes even here.  No, he couldn’t stay.  

He moved forward, but again he was pulled in.  By something or someone.  The spirit didn’t make itself known.

Iron Bull was speaking to Ghanima now, in that same place.  She was above the gates, looking out into the valley.  Instead of the more practical and and modest leathers she usually wore Ghanima was instead in a dress.  He had seen her wear dresses and finery only a few times, but this wasn’t finery.  It was a simple dress, and the design more suited towards…

She’s pregnant.

Iron Bull looks as shocked as Solas feels.  He hadn’t just abandoned Ghanima, but so much more.  

Ghanima walks away, her emotions powerful and bright.  Solas follows but she drifts into mist.  

As he walks around the Skyhold in the Fade he sees her.  Every turn of his head he sees her belly yet larger.  It tears at his heart.  The spirits here are determined to make him suffer for his choice. That can be the only reason they won’t let him push further ahead.  

He walks up the stairs to what had been her room.  Ghanima stands on the balcony, the light of the setting sun reflecting beautifully on her dark skin.  

“I wish you were here.  I need you.  My clan has arrived, and the Keeper has given me nothing but a sour look of disappointment.  I want to slap it off, but I know I wear it as well when anyone speaks of you.”  She runs her hand over her belly.  “Twins.  The midwife is worried about the birth.  A single child is difficult enough, but twins?  There’s a fair chance I won’t survive.  That’s what she says anyway.  They never saw me fight dragons, battle horrors and demons, succeed in saving this world from being burned and swallowed.  Giving birth will be a simpler ordeal.”  She looks down, a sad smile on her face. 

She disappears into mist again.

He turns to go and is instead greeted by a sight he ought to have been present for.

Ghanima is walking around her room, pacing.  She’s wearing nothing, and the fire from the hearth shines bright against her sweat slicked body.  The midwife walks beside her, helping her breathe.  The contractions are getting closer, the pain greater.  

Solas can see spirits are present.  Not so much in the Fade, but are instead there as she goes into labor.  One spirit is Hope, the other Peace, and another…he can’t quite identify it.  It stays hidden, even from him.

She’s squatting now, the midwife’s assistants hold her arms, supporting her as she pushes.  The Keeper remains a distance away, praying.  Ghanima screams, the sound ripping through her throat.  He can feel her fear, but doesn’t see it.  He sees determination, strength, and a powerful will to prove others wrong.  Qualities he fell in love with, among the many others that make her who she is.

The Fade shifts again, and he sees Ghanima sitting on the sofa before the fire, nursing one of the twins as Josephine holds the other.  

“You speak to him?”  

“Every night.  He left me here, and I know he will one day return.  It’s his way.  I want him to know his daughters are alive and well.  He has a family.”

Daughters.  

Josie looks at the sleeping infant.  So tiny, so frail.  

“Make him pay for leaving you.”  She meets Ghanima’s eyes, the gentle woman gone and replaced with a version Solas had not thought to see.  “Make him regret every minute has missed.”

“I intend to.”

Laughter fills the hall as the room brightens with afternoon sunlight.  He makes his way down the stairs, through the door, and sees Varric chasing two young girls.  Their skin looks just like Ghanima’s, but their hair is dark brown instead of the dark red of their mother’s.  They’re identical, even in their laughter.  The girls are tossing a box around as Varric chases them, leaping around him as acrobats would.  

They stop dead in their tracks, laughter immediately cut off.  Ghanima stands before them.  “Give him the box or you will receive no cake tonight.”

“But it’s our birthday!”  They speak as one.  

Solas can’t help but laugh.  They sound so much like who he once was.

Ghanima looks up, and were he not certain this was the Fade he would have thought she saw him.  

Everything turns to mist.

Two women stand beside Ghanima on the dais overlooking the Great Hall.  He can’t make out the words, but it appears Ghanima is passing judgement.  It was a task she hated, but it had been something she trained for her entire life.   The two women are clearly their daughters.  They have her skin and eyes, but the hair of his youth; long, brown, and in tight curls.  Identical in dress and hairstyle, but they are far more flamboyant than their more practical mother.  

He walks out to the garden and finds himself attending a funeral.  His daughters are crying as they lay Ghanima in the ground.  So often he had witnessed funerals, but always their were pyres.  They lay her to rest, and place a sapling in the soil of the grave.  He remains as the others leave, watching the tree grow.  

Until he hears giggling behind him.

Turning he finds himself facing a spirit.

“Are you the one guiding my steps?”  Solas keeps his voice calm, gentle, confident.

“I am.  You missed much, Dread Wolf.  You left behind a legacy.”  The spirit begins taking shape.

“Who are you?”  

Ghanima stands before him now.  “You already knew.  The moment you walked through the gate you knew.  You closed your eyes and hoped.”

Solas can feel her, smell her, and knows.  This is no demon, no trick.  “I am so sorry.”  He reaches out and touches her face.  She eyes, blue as the warm ocean, are filled with tears.  Her face is warm against his hand, solid, alive.  “Can you forgive me?”

“I hoped you would return in my lifetime.  I wanted you to meet them, to see the family you left behind.”  The tears are hot as they touch his skin.  “Teach them the truth.  I have only so much in the library, but you have more.”

“I shall.”

“Then I forgive you.  Welcome home.”

Solas pulls her in close, cupping her face in his hands as he kisses her.  Warm, real, and here.  Never did he ever think to find her here.  

Ghanima breaks the kiss, her lips brushing lightly over his as she speaks.  “I can now rest in peace.  Good-bye, my love.”

Solas wakes with a start, tears wetting his face.  He can still taste her, feel her warmth against his body.  Her scent fills the room.  He doesn’t bother holding back his grief.  

She’s gone now.  All he’ll see in the Fade is the memory that is Ghanima, the woman he loves, the mother of his children, a dream.  

“Good-bye, my love.”


End file.
